Goop’s Air Bowls! An Easy, Three-Day Summer Detox For YOUR Perfect Beach Body* ⋆ Epeak . Independent news and blogs


*An acceptable beach body is a size 4

unless that cocktail is made of air, that’s a no-no, sister!

Summer is here! And it’s time to get bikini ready. Or swimsuit. Whatever! Here at Goop we embrace ALL sizes. Wear what works for YOUR glorious beach body*! (*It’s a size 4 in a white two piece, for the record. Check out Goop’s $900 billowing beach tunics for alternate beach ready sizes.)

So how do you get the perfect summer body!? Follow this easy, three-day summer detox for YOUR* perfect beach ready body. *size 4

World renowned nutritionist and wellness expert, Katherine Holland (may she rest in peace) left this innovative, life-changing (literally!) air cleanse that has been published posthumously. We are honored to share this with all our readers today!

AIR BOWLS are delicious, filling, robust purified, organic, toxin free flavored air that have been infused with aromatic scents from around the world. Relax pool-side in YOUR* perfect beach ready body (*size 4) while enjoying a watermelon and mint scented air cocktail. Relish the long summer days still by the pool in YOUR* perfect beach ready body (*size 4), delighting in a Mediterranean cauliflower couscous scented air salad. By the end of this cleanse you will be light on your feet (and maybe a little dizzy) and one step closer to YOUR* perfect beach ready body. *size 4

What you’ll need:

· Airpura P600 Air Purifier with TitanClean Photocatalytic Oxidizer — cream color $1,150.00

· 12 individually Buddha blessed handmade Tibetan bowls

· Smelling Salts

Day One:

Breakfast: Begin the day by mixing your purified air with the smells of oatmeal, banana, walnuts and fresh berries. Breathe in 10 deep slow breaths. Only breathe half the bowl. Wait twenty minutes. If you’re still hungry know that it’s just because you’re lacking other pleasures in your life. Hop on a jet ski, schedule a private massage, or do a two hour workout session with your private trainer.

Lunch: Generously fill your Tibetan bowl with purified air. Wave a bottled blend of French dried herbs (tarragon, chervil, and chives) over the bowl. After your nutritious and satisfying meal, rub the mallet along the ring of the bowl to drown out the sound of stomach rumbles with the bowl’s singing.

Dinner: Since lunch was so filling, replace this meal with a long meandering walk along your private beach of your So Cal. beach property and breathe in the fresh sea air. If you don’t own a So Cal. beach property, consider staying at the Santa Barbara Four Seasons. If you can’t stay there evaluate how dedicated you are to your health, wellness and YOUR* best self. *size 4

Day Two:

Breakfast: Keep it simple! Savor whipped air infused with a trace of raspberry. Bon Appetite!

Lunch: Replace today’s lunch by trying on bathing suits in an iridescent lit changing room with three way mirrors.

Dinner: Skip dinner by recalling lunch and try and replace negative self talk and body shaming with the sound of your Tibetan meditation singing bowl.

Day Three:

Breakfast: Awaken to the deep smell of ammonia inhalants your loved ones use to rouse you.

Lunch: CHEAT DAY! Open the fridge and take a big whiff. Who knows what’s in there. Enjoy this treat!

Dinner: Your last meal! How great do you feel?! Invite friends over to celebrate. Serve them an array of scent infused air bowls. Now that you’re an expert in Air Bowls, use your culinary expertise to add your signature smell to any dish you like.

YOU’VE DONE IT! Celebrate by enjoying a healthier version of you. Know that you can love summer bathing suits in YOUR* healthiest body *size 4. Be sure to repeat this cleanse every week for optimal results.

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