QAnon Adherents are Simply Devastated That JFK Jr. Didn’t Show Up to Meet Them Yesterday
There are few comparisons in the history of the world to what has become known as the QAnon movement. The things they believe began with dirty dealings in the basement of a pizza parlor (that has no basement) and have only gotten weirder since then.
From conspiracies about George Soros and Bob Mueller to finally claiming that Trump’s loss to Joe Biden last November was “part of the plan,” Q congregants worship at the altar of the totally insane.
And like churches who declare prophetic events are going to happen, only to shrug when they don’t, QAnon also predicts things that are literally batsh*t crazy and then collectively cries about them when they don’t come to fruition.
The latest was a theory among nationwide followers of Cuckoo Q that long-deceased former President John F. Kennedy and his also-long-deceased son JFK Junior were going to make an appearance in Dallas yesterday, right around the time of day that JFK was assassinated, albeit about three weeks early of the actual anniversary of that day.
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Q has been obsessed with the Kennedys since one promoter of the cult, Michael Protzman, used numerology to argue that they were direct descendants of Jesus Christ. The last guy to float such a story ended up writing The DaVinci Code, though, so maybe Protzman could have made a few bucks on the movie rights.
You know how this all ends, though: In crushing despair. Q followers were on board the train to despondency as they waited for some people who are very, very definitely buried in the ground to show up for their little parade.
When the Kennedys amazingly did not show up in Dallas, the crowd of hundreds in Dealey Plaza eventually trickled out like the rain they were standing in as they waited. But not before they had a rousing chant of “God Bless America” and “JFK!”
I hope these people eventually get the help they so desperately need.
Twitter had a field day:
JFK Jr called. He apologizes for the Dallas mixup and instead asks all Qanon enthusiasts to join him at the bottom of the sea this Friday, 11/5. Gather by 5 pm at the end of any ocean pier, with the great mass swim to the seafloor beginning at 5:30 sharp. No scuba gear allowed.
— The Sun Also Rises (@HRepeating) November 3, 2021
Dead JFK jr. ghosted Qanon today.
— Brian Guest (@brguest20) November 2, 2021
I mean, if you’re a QAnon schmuck at Dealey Plaza, waiting for JFK Jr. to rise from the dead in the place where his father was assassinated so he can be Trump’s VP in 2024, then no, chanting “Let’s Go, Brandon” is not going to make anyone take you more seriously. pic.twitter.com/tbpbfa9bvS
— Rus McLaughlin (@rusmclaughlin) November 2, 2021
Hey #Qanon shit for brain junkies as you’re the example of white supremacy, no wander you jackasses feel forgotten. No body whats to remember how stupid you look waiting for JFK Jr show up. Let me know when you find Santa and Elvis. #QAnonIdiots!
— The Conscious Underground (@AllanAgard) November 3, 2021
— Forest Cleaning Service (@A1VerminRemover) November 3, 2021