‘We Have Come a Long Way from Jason Bourne’

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Every day it seems that the nation wakes up asking itself; “Is there anything Ted Cruz could do to make himself a bigger asshole?” And, Ted, using that “genius” intellect that we’re assured he possesses, finds a way to raise the bar. Yes, yes, he can do something to make himself a bigger asshole.

Let’s set this out as we lead up to Ted’s tweet.

Jason Bourne is not a real person. He is a fictional character from a fictional world. Matt Damon is a great actor and seems like a great guy, but he’s not Jason Bourne and Damon has never worked in the CIA and never fired a gun in anger. He spends more time talking about kids than movies, never mind intelligence.

So speaking of intelligence, why would Ted Cruz say that America has come a long way from “Jason Borne”? If Cruz had to say something, and apparently he did, he could have referenced a “real” CIA legend. Everyone knows about Billy Waugh, a fifty-year agent who downed “Carlos the Jackal” and was one of the first on the ground post-911 to look for Bin Laden. But Ted didn’t use a real person, he used a movie character.

And to make it worse, Ted “went there” as a means to slam the CIA’s efforts to expand the pool of talent that exists all over the United States, so as to include a Hispanic cisgender in a new recruiting video. We are certainly not intelligence officers, nor even that intelligent, but with the problems in the world today, if we were trying to investigate something below the radar, it seems like a Hispanic woman would be a necessary team member all over the place.

So Ted is just being a complete dick. Again.

See? Let’s answer his question, if we were Chinese or whomever (Notice Ted didn’t include Russia? They never do anymore. Russia is a MAGA friend) if we were an adversary. Yes, we damned we would be scared of a woman with elite training and commitment as an American intelligence officer, one who doesn’t “look” like the movie character. Because life isn’t a movie!

Ted. Got. Ripped.

We wonder what he’ll come up with tomorrow.

Peace, y’all
[email protected] and on Twitter @JasonMiciak


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